Grounding Spell

From the depths of despair

Gravity is tugging at me,

It’s shredding my heart

A G-force so heavy.

Spinning about aimlessly

Round the girth of my waist,

Mind-numbing slowly

Vodka Cranberry to taste.

Sleepless long nights

Spawn irrational thoughts

Financial burdens

Take the form of a Cross.

The same conversations

Shared Year after year,

Scripts from the Pharm

Don't yet quell my fear.

A Green herbal smoke

To lessen pains Hell,

Now, to Conjure the cure

Say a Grounding Spell.

April 28, 2012

Deadly Seven

Count them, there's seven

They're called deadly sins

They steal from God's glory

Seems like Satan wins

We ravage as gluttons

With food that we hoard

Indulge greedy whims

And still we are bored

Lustful, we're driven

With desire in vain

Lazy! we argue

"Why you want it when?"

We want what they have

Turning green with envy

But we won't forgive them

Pride-filled, naturally

We anger when You ask

'Will you change your ways?'

He tempts us. You let him!

Nearly all of our days.

ISOLATED

Now some years later, the feelings remain

Desire to know you to love you in vain

Driven by primitive instincts and thirst

For now I realize that such could be worse

A life that's so private, sheltered from many

If only you'd share yourself more openly

What more would it change between you and I

Few words from your lips be they truth or a lie

Integrity compromised, unsatisfactory

Deceiving ourselves not knowing the story

Ego and pride, protecting what ails us

Ashamed to be humble for seen as a weakness

No obligations, commitments or promises

Evidence the time of healing surpassed us

A challenge awaits remains unfulfilled

Invasive this fear again to be willed

Immortal legacy, fruit of your loins

Hope for the future to at-ease the toils

A covenant damaged decisions insane

Conditional love is not without pain

Eccentric and wordy but nonetheless real

Though foolish I maybe as to reveal

Motive uncertain, propelled in suspense

Intrigue and yearning, emotional defense

Christmas time bring us the best and at least

Expecting and hopeful to enjoy the feast

With one who means as much as you do

But joy of this season is tainted with blue

Feelings and sadness from fears deep inside

Only the lonely will not abide.

THE BUGLER

The bugle boy grew to  become a great man

Both humble and proud, he's done what he can

With perfect attendance (Until I arrived)

A staple, an Icon, no one has denied

To each of these members belong high awards

Some injured, some scarred, perhaps some are lords

They too have committed to every detail

Requested by clergy, all over by mail

The Corp, it's just one thing he's given his all

He's Mr. Dependable, just give him a call

He won't let them down, not one family

The salute to their lives and final duty

A brother's surrender; a glorious feat!

To honor his country, the Corp and the league

A family tradition, pursued by all three

You boys made the effort, now get the glory

Amazing the grace God has given to him

The song from his trumpet when sounding a hymn

The tears from the eyes of those who have heard

Leaving them speechless, not saying a word

TELEPHONY

A sentence or phrase will assimilate wrong

The trick is to repeat what's told all along

It's simply impossible to relay the verbiage

Told to the one, who received the message

The goal of this game is abundantly clear

A story mutates from the mouth  to the ear

Transformed in minds by idea and perception

Then from the lips comes another deception

As second-hand news from the grapevine

Like dialogues muddled from a party line

The original version is buried somewhere

Not-a-one listened, evidently impaired

How misconstrued, removed from conception

Hoping the next will follow the direction

Maybe incompetent or perhaps a bit lame

The last to retell sounds completely insane!

THE CLOSET!

Caught in a state of confusion

Aroused in excitement

And frozen by fear

Welcome this vivid illusion

The door of the closet's a quandary

A big neon sign's posted there

Caution! It says "Do Not Enter"

Breaching it knocks down a boundary

Darkness entices the depths of my soul

Lurking in corners unseen

Terrified something is crawling

Light up a candle of radiant glow

Dusty ole shelves draped in Irish lace

Nothing worth keeping inside

The kirby and pledge restore it again

Ready, roomy, clean use of space!

IT'S MY TURN

These choices I've made result in heartache

It's not all my fault, the price that we pay

So I've made mistakes; it's costing us dear

But what about yours, my memory's clear

My son talks to me with strong disrespect

Adult or child, his right, I guess

But he's only twelve and I'm the adult

I want what I want, just keep his mouth shut

Yet so many nights, I drove his dad home

It's my turn right now, and I'm all alone

When he misbehaves, no one will object

A double standard I will not accept

I've been a good mom to him all along

Why does he treat me as if I am wrong

Three out of four sons, are living there lives

Can't I have my way, without negative vibes

My children, my friends and husband agree

It's ok for them but it's not for me

My shrink says 'ok' to have only four

I try to stop there but always want more

I know that it's hard on all of you now

It's my turn to play, you all can bow out

But when I am ready to snap out of it

Will you forgive me for being a brat

We've been on our knees before God and man

In prayer we agreed to hear His great plan

I know that He's spoken to each one of us

Time for submission to love and His trust

LAST CALL

Thinking of those who surely once knew Him

What judgement awaits because of this ruin?

Repentance a certain, a sure-fire cure

To renew the blessings, when returned to pure

Love, most important, but oh, where's the faith?

Faith in the One who has given His life

Not just for children of God, self-professed

But also for others He's called to the test

Prayerful redemption back to the faith

Sacred our dependence for His Holiness

A burden I care, not unselfishly

Yielding to share in your apathy?

Rejoicing is found deep down in the heart

Christian believers recall once that part

of their lives were just empty, as one

who's without Christ, God's only Son

What is this bondage that keeps you away?

Keeps you from seeking these gifts of today?

And takes you tomorrow to places unknown?

Greater these gifts, found stored up in heaven

Signing a testimony true unto Him

Willing to focus and turn from the sin

The price has been paid, by His grace alone

All are forgiven! Return to His Son.

TURBULENCE

Prudent design takes precedence

Holding a pattern of flight in the dense

Gliding towards a beacon of light

Approach for landing partly by sight

Horizons uncanny, alluring to see

Restless, unsettled, stimulating

Kaleidoscope canvas, resonant hue

Enticing and brazen, awesome the view

Feeling the rush, a wind gusts behind

Thrust and accelerated for a brief time

Colorful lights emerge in the distance

Blink even once, venture to miss it

Visible patches, opaque, coming nearer

Pass by, go round, avoid pending danger

Increasing tension pierces the flesh

Unthinkable crisis, inevitable I guess

Turmoil building, prepare to abort

White-knuckle grip, a reflex of sorte

Sedate feeble nerves,  oblique and imbibed

Silence, forgotten, suppressed, denied

Endeavor fragile, summons rescue

Reprise from the heavens, muffled by dew

Sounds ricochet, foster recognition

Attain mortal assent for benediction

Contrived reservations, novel in kind

Leashed and secure, obtuse, sun-dried

Controlled destiny, harnessed, tranquil

Transport undaunted from taking a spill.

SAFER NOW

Safe is just something we all need to be

A person to trust in, to love innocently

A perfect design, God made us like Him

In image of Himself, His heart we will win

Accepting of errors, yet strive to emend

As human as we are, the means to an end

Our self-minded, self-centered, self-striving life

Ends up in self-hatred, and self-induced strife

Look there no further, hear His refuge call

His arms open wide, in His lap we can crawl

Our heavenly Daddy, He loves us so much

He'll comfort and heal us just by his touch

There's no better way to receive Jesus' love

Just tell Him you love Him, No need to grub!

He'll give all you ask, turn dark into light

His people are precious to Him in His sight

Enlist as his soldier, Place each piece of armor

The helmet of salvation, right down to His power

Wage war from His side, watch the enemy bow

Be clothed in his righteousness. Safe you are now.

Pastor Ayars

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My Mother's Way

My mother, Loretta
For thirty plus seven
Appearing so youthful
(arrayed shy eleven)

Accepting her qualities
In failure and success
Mistakes keep her humble
Also cherished and blessed

With tolerance of a saint
Perhaps, even a fault
Her patience, accordingly
Seems never to halt

Only God's love is greater
Behind Jesus she trales
Though fragile a woman
Her devotion never fails

Rearing her three girls
From solid rock faith
Her heritage prevails
For her mother's sake

She battles her choices
Her heart centered plea
Tailored for each one
Designed quite unique

Adoringly we watch
Her way's like no other
Esteemed by all three
The way of my mother

Hard to Pin Down

He's idiosyncratic

So subtle, yet dramatic

Conveying tones of static

Your basic problematic

His clement constitution

So coy in de-evolution

Resisting evolution

Amorphous resolution.

GUILTY AM I

Why won't you notice me, just as I am?

Asking so little, the least that I can

Unable to touch you, I watch you go by

~ Of loving you too much, Guilty am I.

Romance survives in my thoughts day by day

Fantasy fuels these dream, frisky we play

The feel of your body, I reach for with mine

~ Of loving you too much, Guilty am I.

Share this truth with you? I dare not reveal

Disclosure to risky. What if you appeal?

Your response somehow pleasing and very spry

~ Of loving you too much, Guilty am I.

Though hangups between us, courageous we hold

Confiding our pleasures, vulnerably bold

Sexual Congress, expressed and denied

~ Of loving you too much, Guilty am I.

Approaching with hesitance, you turn awkwardly

Now then, I'm certain you're going to flee

How well I know you, I've come to realize

~ Of loving you too much, Guilty am I.

Sometimes, on your terms, you heed my request

You selfishly love me. Love? Surely I jest.

You slip through my fingers, unknowing why.

~ Of loving you too much, Guilty am I.

Skeptically rational, I've settled with this

The journey I travel is not total bliss

Expect this, Except that; sometimes I cry

~ Of loving you too much, Guilty am I.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sinners Cry

I've learned much about You

The reasons You live

The torture You suffered

The life You did give

For one like myself

You offered Your love

So I'd have a choice

To see You up above

I don't understand

What I mean to You

If I were the only one

You'd still seen this through?

I see now more clearly

You planned this ahead

The Word told this story

Foreseen, done and said

You loved me before birth

So I would love You

Me heart wants to follow

You planned this part too

My life was so empty

So painful and tried

It's all in the scriptures

You knew I'd abide

I believe in my heart

I confess with my tongue

You've won this one over

You're Jesus His Son.